have yuo ever had one of those moments when you find something out about a good friend that makes you think 'i dont know you' 'you arent the person i thort you were'

cos i had one of thse moments about God on monday. i was reading the bit in Joshua where they go round and massacre loads of villages, women and children included, bcause apparently God had commanded it.

Ive read it before but monday felt like id discovered something completely new. how can a God who says he loves me and wants me to be happy, the God who said do not muder and offers forgiveness, also be a God who orders the slaughter of all those inncoent people?

think im going to have to find a pretty good book or theory to convince me on this one